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We teach children that lying is naughty,
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, but it’s actually a sign of some positive brain development.





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At the ripe old age of 3,
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, my older daughter has begun flirting with falsehoods. So far, the few lies she has told have been comically bad and easy to spot. Her dad and I usually laugh at them with an amused, “Oh,
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, yeah?” But now that I’ve stopped to consider,
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, that strategy seems flawed.
While reporting a story on adult lying, I had the pleasure of talking with developmental psychologist Victoria Talwar of McGill University, who studies lying in children. I told her about an episode last week, in which I watched my older daughter swat my younger one. Instead of simply accepting reality and scolding her,
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, my reaction was to question it further. “Did you just hit your sister?” After a pause,
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, the guilty one offered a slightly confused “no.”
My accusatory question had created conditions ripe for this lie to be spawned. And now, as Talwar pointed out, I was dealing with two things: the hitting and the lie. “If you catch them in a transgression, just deal with the transgression,
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,” she told me. “Don’t give them a chance to lie by asking a question you already know the answer to.”

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