The Problems with Positive Affirmations Beállítások

[joselcollin]

Last year I used positive affirmations to avoid getting anxiety attacks again while studying for a very difficult exam and for boosting my self-worth when it came to my job. I really did feel good about myself and passed the exam even though it was a very stressful time for me.

However weeks ago I started experiencing depression and anxiety which I hadn’t experienced in a couple years. Before this happened I had stopped saying my previous affirmations and started to constantly tell myself I was at peace and calm even though I was stressed out. It really came to a point where they didn’t seem to be doing much. Eventually I just stopped saying the affirmations.

Now that I’m learning more about TMS I realize that I’ve just been repressing my emotions by saying those affirmations when I never fully believed them. I’ve basically been programming myself that feeling bad about myself is bad and that I can only allow good thoughts to enter my consciousness.

What puzzles me is that the positive affirmation advice was given to me by a Life Coach who’s been doing this for years. She must have success using these techniques otherwise she wouldn’t still be in business. This just seems like something that eventually leads to worsening symptoms of TMS.

Your thoughts please.

[utmostacidic]

Last year I used positive affirmations to avoid getting anxiety attacks again while studying for a very difficult exam and for boosting my self-worth when it came to my job. I really did feel good about myself and passed the exam even though it was a very stressful time for me.

However weeks ago I started experiencing depression and anxiety which I hadn’t experienced in a couple years. Before this happened I had stopped saying my previous affirmations and started to constantly tell myself I was at peace and calm even though I was stressed out. It really came to a point where they didn’t seem to be doing much. Eventually I just stopped saying the affirmations.

Now that I’m learning more about TMS I realize that I’ve just been repressing my emotions by saying those affirmations when I never fully believed them. I’ve basically been programming myself that feeling bad about myself is bad and that I can only allow good thoughts to enter my consciousness.

What puzzles me is that the positive affirmation advice was given to me by a Life Coach who’s been doing this for years. She must have success using these techniques otherwise she wouldn’t still be in business. This just seems like something that eventually leads to worsening symptoms of TMS.

Your thoughts please.

That's a very good question you have raised.

TMS healing is about regaining our balance as a whole, learning to feel, process and accept our emotions effectively, to avoid the build up of nervous tension in our bodies that leads to TMS pain and other symptoms.

Positive affirmations, while being an excellent way to introduce a habit of positive thinking, don't work in isolation in the context of TMS healing. You are correct that in order for affirmations to be effective we must indeed believe what we are affirming.

The way I approached this dilemma was to uncover what I needed to work on from my journaling, discovering not only HOW I felt about a situation, but more importantly WHY I felt that way. I would then devise an appropriate affirmation to complement working through what I had discovered.

For example when I began my journal, I would affirm "I am willing to release the need for pain and anxiety", to get me started on clearing the subconscious need for my symptoms, and open myself to change.

Later I discovered that one of the reasons for my developing TMS was my need for approval. While I worked through the emotions this raised I would affirm "I approve of myself. I love and accept myself exactly the way that I am". Thus complementing and reinforcing the emotional work I was doing in my journaling, to free myself of my old way of thinking, and introduce a more helpful one.

I know it's difficult to do "deep" journaling, but it's very liberating - it's not nearly as scary as you think it will be. Once you uncover the thoughts that generate such strong emotions, you can work on changing them with the help of affirmations. Don't be afraid to look and what's inside you, that held me back for a long time, however once I started I began to make fantastic progress.

Remember to treat yourself with patience, love and compassion and you will heal.

Much love & blessings :joyful:

[bining]

Aurora, I know exactly what you're talking about! I feel like I have some pretty deep defenses (which I refer to as my BS Meter) and need to use discretion at times when it comes to positive affirmations. My wily brain will throw up a huge, "liar, liar pants on fire" if, on some days, I say something like, "My body is free of pain," when I'm limping around the house and muttering under my breath. On those days when I'm feeling especially fragile, I'll adopt more of a, "I am grateful that my body is healing even though I don't feel it right now."

Mermaid has also given you some wonderful advice too.

Keep in mind that this is journey too….it takes time to walk these changes out.

Be encouraged, Aurora! You have a great understanding of what's going on and it's this knowledge that will give you the ultimate victory.

[danielhowell]

I use some affirmations without really believing them, too, but they seem to register in my unconscious mind anyway and bring me peace and sleep when I say them in bed. Are we fooling our unconscious mind? Maybe, but it doesn't seem to care, it just helps us. But I do think it's better to believe our affirmations. If you want to know more details please visit here InnerJam

[RUSSELLCVF]

I use some affirmations without really believing them, too, but they seem to register in my unconscious mind anyway and bring me peace and sleep when I say them in bed. Are we fooling our unconscious mind? Maybe, but it doesn't seem to care, it just helps us. But I do think it's better to believe our affirmations. If you want to know more details please visit here InnerJam

I also wanted to add that I've been following Steven Conenna's journaling approach and it seems to end with positive affirmations. I really do let myself write down positive things as they come to mind when I finish journaling.

[utmostacidic]

Today I decided to say my affirmations all day long and I mean all day long. It really made
a big difference. I felt very positive and enjoyed my day so much better.

I basically just said I am getting better and better and better. I am healed. I emotionally
felt like I was in such a good place. At first they were just word but by tonight I felt so
empowered.

I do believe what we speak can bring life or death so to speak. I am learning we have
a choice what we want to speak into our day. And I do think our bodies respond
to our words whether we believe it or not.

I am going to concentrate more on believing what I say. I am sure that is powerful, too.

I know someone recommended Steven Conenna's book. What did you like most about it?
I do need some input in my journaling because it does not feel like I am going deep enough.

How is everyone doing with journaling??????

[ftrsquish]

G.R….I so enjoy you. Thank you for your powerful post. I am going to be more intentional today in practicing affirmations. Yesterday, I did a mindless thing. It was a minor - like accidentally putting too much baking soda in a recipe. Sure, I scooped out the excess…and proceeded to chide myself. All day long I was battling the accuser. I need to be on the offense today.

To answer your query about journaling. I only do it on days I feel I need to work through something or release some frustration. (Like the mother-in-law encounters this week.) With our new puppy (puppy love!) and a house on the market, my times to journal are sometimes limited.

Herbie, beautiful words of wisdom. Thank you for all you do here. I'm eager to get back into your book.

Aurora, thanks for starting such a great thread.

Love to you all,

[fillerjupiter]

Aurora, I have had problems with affirmations and not really believing in them too, so now I simply try to set aside a little time wherever I am for 'mindful meditation', as I call it, and instead of actual affirmations e.g. I am calm and relaxed etc, I tell my brain, 'I wish to be calm and relaxed in mind and body,' or 'I wish to feel calm and confident.'
I think you get the picture. I find this bypasses my disbelief reflex and doesn't set up internal tension and conflict for me because I do want to achieve the stated goal.
Hope this helps.