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Ala. VA Medical Center is a testament to his personal inner strength the support of his family and the healing resources of the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) But his story is also a cautionary tale about the overwhelming power of mental trauma that can drive strong men and women to their knees -- and the obstacles that warriors and veterans can face in getting helpWilliams was deployed as an Army infantryman to Iraq in 2003 with the 4th Infantry Division Late that year in a highway underpass in Baghdad his convoy was ambushed with small arms fire and then hit with a homemade bomb that peppered him with shrapnel and left him unconscious for two daysThat should have triggered a command decision to pull him off duty and send him to be tested for traumatic brain injury (TBI) a possible result of a concussion and blackout But the US military hadn't yet begun to require off-duty rest for a concussion and only began widespread in 2007 four years after Williams' injuryReturning home with his unit in early 2004 Williams began a long struggle to understand and manage his injuries Spasms of rage and depression left him scared and frustrated The Army he said brushed him off with a vague diagnosis of "adjustment" issues Like many others he tried to dull the pain with alcohol and drugs He felt intensely alone and started blaming himself for his problems: the nightmares and crying jags the substance abuse the inability to focus and the strain of all this on his marriage"I got to the point where I wanted to take my own life because I thought that was the best way for me to stop everything that was happening" he told The Huffington PostOne night in late 2004 he locked himself in the bathroom of his house in Killeen Texas near Fort Hood His wife at the time was at the door crying and begging him to come out and frantically dialing 911 Williams pulled the trigger as the police were breaking in; the weapon fired in the ensuing struggle luckily hitting no one Williams was 19 years oldThe experience left him shaken -- and determined to get well But he found the Army unhelpful and frustrating He encountered long waiting lines for mental health appointments therapists who he felt couldn't understand him and therapy that didn't help He was ridiculed by soldiers in his unit who taunted him for being weak and felt guilty for being considered unfit for combat duty"I tried to get help" he said "But nobody could explain what was happening to me Nobody said 'Hey -- this is what is wrong and this is how to fix it' I had PTSD without knowing what PTSD was"A year to the day after his suicide attempt Williams' godfather also a veteran died by suicide "That afforded me the opportunity to see both sides of it the side of desperation and also the side of what did you do to the individuals you leave behind" he said "It gave me a new perspective on life that it's not something to be taken lightly"It would eventually take him three years to earn a medical discharge from the Army while his health and mental balance continued to deteriorate He was bounced around various VA hospitals in Huntsville and Tuscaloosa Ala,
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