Someday, you just need to sit back and take a look around you. Take a look on your past, know where you have been to know where you are going. Today was this day for me.
I hated to spend my time in elementary school, it was boring, the teachers were narrow-minded, they thought I am that kind of a local, usual, simple, interested in nothing ‘flat house’ boy. Well, I played this role pretty well most of the time – sometimes just to show it in the appropriate moment that it’s simply not true and everyone can change, even on their behavior too, and sometimes I really believed that I am that kind of a bad person as they suggest, I am really nothing, and I have no future not even in school, in fact: nowhere.
I remember when I was sitting in elementary school in the end of the first year – my study results were horrifying for me and for my mom and dad (not to mention my perfect, responsible, and loving teachers who rated my behavior and diligence with the the lowest possible marks). I felt (just for a second because otherwise I knew I am different) maybe I am really bad as they suggested in school.
At the end of the last day we had a free discussion class with the form-master and we (‘the flat kids’) just didn’t even payed any attention to the teacher because she talked about nothing – she talked about responsibility, future, believing, but without any knowledge or meaningful background. I hated those moments – spending precious summer time doing nothing and listening to a person who want to be your mentor and show her power but she is not even close to that. These times helped me to understand what I really would like to do and what is my aim and what is wrong with the present time.
The teacher turned to me and asked (of course I felt the resignation in her voice):
Dave, what do you believe in, what would you like to do?
I turned my attention to her (only for a second then I went back playing the stupid ‘flat kid’ ) and answered something like this:
I believe that the last are going to be the first.
I said this because with her resignation I recognized that I just got the chance to change everything. And that was that sort of a boom moment. She could not even say a word for long seconds, then she said well, nice. She knew, I caught her!
(However, many clever people have fallen because they put them in that box…)
Of course, the struggle continued (and continues everyday so you need to push too even if you feel it’s not gonna work) but with more and more reached goals and meaningful good and bad moments. A lot of things changed, now I am in a much better position surrounded by many more clever people, and it feels great! Take a look back to my last 12 months: I made the US trip (without a slave-holder exchange organization, but with the help of my incredible relatives and wonderful friends, and with my knowledge and money), finished BSc with a thesis which (I believe) added a little value to some industries, have pretty good chance to make the masters wherever I go in September – and through these things I am facing meaningful decisions.