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We teach children that lying is naughty, but it’s actually a sign of some positive brain development.





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At the ripe old age of 3, my older daughter has begun flirting with falsehoods. So far,
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, the few lies she has told have been comically bad and easy to spot. Her dad and I usually laugh at them with an amused, “Oh,
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, yeah?” But now that I’ve stopped to consider, that strategy seems flawed.
While reporting a story on adult lying,
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, I had the pleasure of talking with developmental psychologist Victoria Talwar of McGill University, who studies lying in children. I told her about an episode last week, in which I watched my older daughter swat my younger one. Instead of simply accepting reality and scolding her, my reaction was to question it further. “Did you just hit your sister?” After a pause,
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, the guilty one offered a slightly confused “no.”
My accusatory question had created conditions ripe for this lie to be spawned. And now, as Talwar pointed out,
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, I was dealing with two things: the hitting and the lie. “If you catch them in a transgression,
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, just deal with the transgression,
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,” she told me. “Don’t give them a chance to lie by asking a question you already know the answer to.”

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