the American Academy of Pediatrics found that "much of parent-child time is spent arranging special activities or transporting children between those activities. Many parents seem to feel as though they are running on a treadmill to keep up yet dare not slow their pace for fear their children will fall behind"
"Theres Mandarin on Monday piano on Tuesday soccer on Wednesday" says Lenore Skenazy founder of the Free Range Kids movement "Its all part of the race to the top" And its not just children of privilege who lead more structured lives Often underserved kids or those whose parents work full time go straight from class to school-subsidized aftercare
Then theres the innate parental fear that unsupervised kids will fall prey to shady characters (The statistics dont bear this out however: crime against children has been decreasing since the early 1990s Finally a rash of recent high-profile incidents in Maryland and South Carolina in which parents were questioned by the police for sending their children into public without supervision have sent the message that its negligent to let kids roam free "An unsupervised childhood has become taboo" says Skenazy
In moderation organized extracurricular activities instill skills and competence in kids boost their confidence and give parents both time to work (Im writing this while my seven-year-old is at mountain-biking club) and peace of mind that their children are being looked after "No one wants their kids to be unsafe" says Skenazy
But child-directed play is essential to childrens emotional and intellectual development According to the American Academy of Pediatrics 2007 report "some play must remain entirely child driven with parents either not present or as passive observers because play builds some of the individual assets children need to develop and remain resilient"
A 2014 study from University of Colorado found that children between six and seven who engaged in less-structured activities like imaginative role-playing reading for pleasure and playing board games and tag demonstrated greater so-called "executive function" or the ability to organize their time initiate tasks and achieve goals without external directionskills which help build self-reliance and success later in life (and ensure that theyre not still living at home when theyre 30)
"These were any kind of activities where adults were not present to organize the way the activity unfolded" explains the studys lead author Jane Barker who notes that the results held for controls like family income and gender "We saw the same the benefits of free play in boys and girls and families with greater or less means"
Still not all free play is quite so free For single parents and dual-working parents setting aside blocks of time for unsupervised fun can be challenging "I put my daughter in activities when she was young because it gave me bigger blocks of time to work than when she was home playing I would take her to gymnastics and sit in the stands and pull out my computer" says Carol Greenhouse a single mother whose daughter is now 13
Where you live may pose obstacles too While rural families may have open space right out the front door they may not have a built-in posse of neighbor kids nearby Urbanites may lack nature but have a larger local community of like-minded families Ultimately says Skenazy "the only people who have the luxury not to let their kids out for free play are those who live in truly violent neighborhoods"
Indoors or outside alone or with other kids the important thing is that children are left to their own devices to invent organize and enjoy their own schemes and dreams "You can have free play in your room but there are more loose parts to play with outside in nature" says Richard Louv who wrote the bestselling book Last Child in the Woods and his latest Vitamin N in an effort to combat what he coined "nature-deficit disorder" Louv is talking about the Theory of Loose Parts devised in the early 1970s by an architect who found that the more variables in an environmentthe more things people can manipulate see touch or feelthe more creative they are
Heres how to set your child loose:
Build a Community
Dont just assume your friends feel the same about free play as you do When Greenhouse who lives in rural Vermont learned that neighboring parents didnt let their 13-year-old daughter and her daughter explore the stream on their property without adult supervision she was surprised "We live in a sweet liberal town; everyone believes in kids going outside but is it really happening This family is full of big kayakers I didnt think Id have to talk to them about this but I guess I do" Open the lines of communication with other parents about your shared goals for getting kids together for unstructured play and together strategize ways to make it a reality
Schedule Unscheduled Play
It sounds counterintuitive but in this hyper-organized world being intention is essential Skenazy recommends creating a Free-Range Kids Club through your childs school or in your neighborhood as a group of parents in the Chicago suburbs recently did Block off one day a week so that a critical mass of kids have free time after school It can happen anywhereat the park downtown walking home from school The only organized part is the day of the week "Its like wildflowersif you want to bring them back sometimes you actually have to take the seeds and plant them If something has been destroyed that was natural and occurred spontaneously it sometimes requires help and planning to bring back Once you have a bunch of kids together without an adult to ask what to do everything kicks in: problem solving empathy creativity imagination"
Strive for Balance
No ones saying you should wipe your youngsters weekly calendar clean of karate Spanish club or swim team Just find pockets here and there to let him be a kid on his own terms How much free play do they need While Barker and her team of researchers dont recommend a specific amount of time Louv favors the same guidelines he offers to combat nature-deficit-disorder: "Some is better than none and more is better than some"
Become a Hummingbird Parent
If your child is too young to play unsupervised train yourself to be a hummingbird not a helicopterone who hovers at a distance "Watch kids from kitchen window or let them explore the periphery of the park on their own" says Louv "Swoop in only if your child is in mortal danger Thats a technique you can learn"
Encourage Aimlessness and Even Adversity
Not every minute needs to fulfill some obvious purpose in your childs life "Even time that seems fallow or unenriched" is very enriching" says Skenazy "If you just watch the birds every day youd learn a lot about birds or if you are bored watching birds youd go do something else like read or paint" Adversity too isnt something to be feared either "Many people say I cant let my kids go out because something bad may happen says Skenazy "But its important to remember that not all bad things are tragedies Often when adults are asked think back on something in their childhood that they felt proud of usually its when something did go wrong and they had to muddle through"
Engage Them Afterwards
After your child finishes playing ask them to tell you about their adventures Showing interest sends the message that their independence is valued and matters When my five-year-old Maisy came home toting two jars filled with fine black shavings I asked to shown me how shed collected it "Here" she said pouring some iron in the dirt and handing me a magnet When I skimmed the shavings with the magnet the iron clumped onto it like a fuzzy coating of fur I sat on the ground next to her doing it over and over feeling like a kid again Filed To: Raising Rippers Nature Culture Adventure Mostly,
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